What your nervous system is actually doing, and why your pelvic floor cares
Almost everyone has been told to relax. Very few people have been told how.
It is one of the most common things we hear in clinic. Someone has been advised to relax their jaw, their shoulders, their breathing, their pelvic floor, usually by a well-meaning practitioner who did not go on to explain the mechanics. So the person tries. They think relaxing thoughts. Nothing much changes, and now there is a second problem stacked on the first, which is the sense that they are failing at something that should be simple.
It is not simple, and it is not a willpower problem. Relaxing is a skill, and like most skills it can be taught.
Three states, described by feel
Your nervous system is always doing something. It is constantly reading your environment and your internal signals and deciding, well below conscious thought, how much protection you need. That decision shows up in your body long before it shows up in your thinking.
Broadly, there are three states you move between all day.
Settled. Breath that moves low and easy. A jaw that is not holding anything. Shoulders that sit where they belong rather than somewhere near your ears. In this state you can think and feel at the same time, and nothing is braced.
Activated. Shoulders climb. Breath goes high and shallow. The jaw grips, and so does the pelvic floor. This is your body preparing to fight or to run, and it happens whether or not there is anything to fight or run from. A difficult email produces it as readily as a near miss in traffic.
Shutdown. Heavy, foggy and far away. Starting anything feels like too much. This is the state people have the least language for, and it is often mistaken for laziness or low mood. It is neither. It is your system deciding that the safest available option is to power down and wait it out.
None of these states are wrong. Each one exists because it kept humans alive. Activation gets you out of the road. Shutdown conserves resources when there is nothing useful to be done. The difficulty is not having these states, it is getting stuck in one with no idea how to shift.
Why a pelvic health clinic cares about this
The pelvic floor is a muscle group like any other, which means it takes its instructions from the same nervous system that runs everything else.
A pelvic floor sitting in a protective pattern is not being difficult. It is doing exactly what it has been told to do by a system that has decided protection is warranted. That is why it does not let go when a practitioner asks it to, and it is why a very good internal release can feel wonderful on the table and then quietly undo itself by Thursday.
The muscle lets go when the system around it decides it is safe. Which means the useful work is often not at the muscle at all.
This applies broadly. Urgency and frequency, pain with penetration, tailbone pain, constipation, symptoms that flare during hard weeks and settle on holiday. It applies at every age and every life stage, not only after having a baby.
Top-down, bottom-up, and why the order matters
Most of us try to solve body problems from the top down. We think about them. We reason, reframe, plan and analyze, and we assume that if we understand something well enough our body will follow along.
Sometimes that works. Often it does not, because the part of you holding the pattern was never persuaded into it by an argument and cannot be argued out of it.
Bottom-up work runs the other direction. It starts with sensation, movement, breath and image, and lets the thinking catch up afterwards. Both somatic therapy and art therapy are bottom-up approaches, and that shared foundation is why they fit together so naturally.
It also explains the order of operations. Get into the body first. Explain it second. Doing it the other way round tends to produce people who understand their nervous system perfectly and still cannot feel a thing.
What "somatic" actually means
It means body-based. That is the whole translation.
Somatic work starts from an observation you can verify in yourself: your body registers stress before your thinking brain does, and it will keep holding a stress response long after the stressful thing has gone. You can be perfectly clear intellectually that something is over and still be carrying it in your ribs.
Rather than reasoning your way out of that, somatic practice teaches you to notice what your body is doing, in real time and in specific detail, and then gives that response a way to complete and settle. It is slower than it sounds and far more practical than it sounds. Much of it is close attention to sensation, and learning what shifts it.
Meet Joanna Hermano
Registered Physiotherapist. Trauma-informed physiotherapy for persistent pain.
Joanna (she/her) has more than 20 years in health care. She holds a Master of Science in Physiotherapy, a Bachelor of Science in Athletic Therapy, and a Diploma in Transpersonal Counselling Psychology, and she has worked as both a physiotherapist and a counsellor.
She is also trained in Somatic Experiencing, a body-focused therapy that addresses unresolved trauma showing up as physical symptoms, by helping a dysregulated nervous system return to a calmer and more balanced state.
Joanna brings that together with traditional physiotherapy, including education, manual therapy, exercise prescription, acupuncture and taping, into a style of care that treats the whole person. Her approach is gentle and supportive, and she listens to her clients with curiosity and empathy. She believes everyone has the ability to heal, and she likes helping people break through the barriers in the way of it.
Outside the clinic she is a proud mom of two boys who plays piano, sings, grows vegetables, hikes with her labradoodle Ziggy, and camps with her family. The singing is relevant, as it turns out, and we will come back to it.
What art therapy is, and what it is not
Art therapy is not an art class.
Nobody is teaching technique. Nobody is critiquing your work. There is no moment where anyone holds up your paper. If you have not picked up a paintbrush since grade school, you have not missed a prerequisite.
The materials do a specific job. Most of us are very good at describing our feelings in careful, tidy sentences that keep us at a comfortable distance from them. It is a genuinely useful skill, and it is also a way of staying in our heads. Working with your hands sidesteps it. Colour, pressure, mark-making and mess give you a different route into sensory processing, and that route supports regulation directly.
The other thing worth saying plainly: you do not need words. For anyone carrying something they have never found language for, or who is tired of explaining themselves, that is not a small detail. Art therapy offers a way to explore difficult material that is non-confrontational and regulating rather than exposing.
Meet Liana Cross-Muller
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) and Professional Art Therapist.
Liana has been passionate about the arts since childhood as a way to process and explore emotion, and has worked as a practicing artist for more than 20 years. Her own experience with the postpartum period led her toward supporting other people in the therapeutic space.
She offers a space for curiosity, exploration and reflection, on the understanding that
therapy itself can feel overwhelming. Her work is person-centred and strengths based, drawing on Internal Family Systems and parts work, attachment theory, and mindfulness practices. She works with teens and adults across anxiety, trauma, identity, emotion regulation, self-compassion, body image and life transitions.
Sessions might use drawing, paint, clay, collage or fibre. You do not need to be an artist to benefit from any of it.
Outside the clinic you will find her in her garden or with her family.
Why the two of them together
Put those two disciplines in one room and they cover the whole distance.
The art gets you into your body and quiets the running commentary. The somatic work gives you something to do once you are there. The education explains why any of it worked, which matters more than it sounds, because tools you understand are tools you keep using. A tool you were simply handed gets abandoned in about a week.
Three things you can actually take home
There is a long list of regulation practices. Three are worth learning first, because they are simple, portable, and easy to use badly if nobody shows you properly.
Bilateral stimulation uses rhythmic left-to-right input, such as alternating taps or a deliberate walk, to help settle an activated system. Many people find it takes the edge off a spiral quickly.
Orienting to pleasure turns your attention toward something in your immediate environment that feels good, or simply neutral. A system scanning for threat will keep finding threat. Orienting gives it something else to do, and teaches your body that safety is currently available.
Vagus nerve stimulation works with the nerve that runs your rest-and-recover response, usually through the breath, the voice, or the face. Slow exhales and humming both belong here, which is why singing in the car works better than it has any right to, and why one of our physiotherapists has been quietly regulating herself at the piano for years.
All three work at home, in the car, and at 2am when your brain will not settle.
We teach this in person, and we are running it again
We built these teachings into an evening workshop called Meet Your Nervous System, co-led by Liana and Joanna at The Blueberry Nest in Dundas. Ninety minutes, a short art exercise, the nervous system education in plain language, and the three tools above taught properly rather than described.
It is not group therapy, not an art class, and not a lecture. Nobody looks at your work, you choose what you say, and no art experience is required.
Our current session is nearly full, and we intend to run it again.
If you would like a spot in the next one, call the clinic at 289-238-8383 or email blueberrytherapy@gmail.com and we will add you to the waitlist. We will contact that list first when the next date is set, and also if a spot opens in the current session.
If you would rather work one to one, both Liana and Joanna are taking clients, in person in Dundas and virtually.
Your nervous system learned its current pattern. It is capable of learning a different one, and you do not have to accept the volume it is currently running at.
Frequently asked questions
What is somatic therapy?
Somatic means body-based. Somatic therapy works with sensation, breath and movement rather than talking alone, on the understanding that the body registers and holds stress responses independently of conscious thought. Joanna Hermano is trained in Somatic Experiencing, an approach that addresses unresolved trauma showing up as physical symptoms by helping a dysregulated nervous system return to a calmer, more balanced state.
Do I need to be good at art to benefit from art therapy?
No. Art therapy is not an art class and nobody is assessing your work. The materials are a tool for accessing sensory processing and supporting regulation, which is something they do regardless of skill. People with no art background often benefit the most, because they have less habit of judging what they make.
What is the difference between art therapy and an art class?
An art class teaches technique and produces a finished piece. Art therapy uses the process of making as a way to explore internal experience, and the work is never critiqued or displayed. Sessions with Liana Cross-Muller might use drawing, paint, clay, collage or fibre, and the point is what happens while you work rather than what you end up with.
Why would a pelvic health clinic teach nervous system regulation?
The pelvic floor takes its instructions from the same nervous system that runs the rest of the body. A pelvic floor held in a protective pattern will not release simply because it is asked to, and often releases once the system around it registers safety. Nervous system regulation is therefore directly relevant to bladder, bowel and sexual symptoms, and to persistent pain.
What are bilateral stimulation, orienting to pleasure and vagus nerve stimulation?
They are three practical regulation techniques. Bilateral stimulation uses rhythmic left-to-right input, such as alternating taps, to help settle an activated system. Orienting to pleasure directs attention toward something in your environment that feels good or neutral, which gives a threat-scanning system something else to do. Vagus nerve stimulation works with the nerve that runs the rest-and-recover response, usually through slow exhales, humming or the face.
Is the Meet Your Nervous System workshop running again?
Yes. The current session is nearly full, and we plan to run it again. Call Blueberry Therapy at 289-238-8383 or email blueberrytherapy@gmail.com to be added to the waitlist. We contact that list first when a new date is set, and also if a spot opens in the current session.
Who is the workshop for?
Anyone whose body reacts to stress. There is no diagnosis requirement, no referral needed, and no age bracket. You will not be asked to share anything personal, and you choose what you say throughout.
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