# Say Vagina Month: Why Teaching Our Children Anatomical Language Is a Health Imperative

By Kristen Parise, Registered Physiotherapist and Owner of Blueberry Therapy

August is Say Vagina Month, and there's never been a more important time to have this conversation.

Picture this: Your 4-year-old daughter comes home from preschool and whispers that someone touched her "cookie" at school. Your 6-year-old son complains that his "wee-wee" hurts, but you're not sure if he means his penis, his bladder, or something else entirely. A teenager arrives at your clinic unable to describe their symptoms because they've never learned the proper words for their anatomy.

This isn't just about vocabulary - it's about health outcomes, safety, and empowerment. As a pelvic health physiotherapist who has worked with families for over 25 years, I see firsthand what happens when we don't give our children the language they need to understand and communicate about their bodies.

The Statistics Are Clear: Language Matters for Health

The research is sobering. When children can't accurately communicate about their bodies, their health suffers:

• 34% of children will experience inappropriate sexual contact or sexual language from a family member

• 10% of children will experience inappropriate sexual contact from teachers, coaches, or other school employees

• One in 10 children will be the victim of sexual abuse before they turn 18

• Children who can clearly articulate their anatomy provide specific information that helps adults understand situations and take appropriate action quickly

But here's what's even more concerning: healthcare communication failures. When children arrive at medical appointments using euphemisms like "down there," "private parts," or "pee-pee place," diagnosis becomes guesswork. It can be tricky to diagnose a bladder infection in a child who reports her "bottom" is hurting instead of her vaginal area.

At Blueberry Therapy, I regularly see teenagers and young adults who've spent years suffering in silence because they didn't have the words to describe their symptoms. They couldn't tell their parents about pelvic pain, unusual discharge, or changes in their bodies because those parts were shrouded in shame and secrecy.

Breaking the Cycle of Shame Starts in Childhood

Here's what I know after working with thousands of families: Children are a clean slate. They aren't tainted by the feelings of shame or embarrassment that can plague us as adults. When we use code words for genitals but not for elbows or noses, we're sending a clear message that some body parts are inherently shameful.

Using correct anatomical terms helps children develop a healthy understanding of their bodies and normalizes these parts of the body, reducing shame and embarrassment. This isn't about being inappropriate - it's about treating the vulva, penis, and vagina with the same matter-of-fact approach we use for any other body part.

Think about it: when your child has an ear infection, they can tell you their ear hurts. When they scrape their knee, they can show you exactly where. But when something is wrong with their genitals or pelvic area, suddenly they're left fumbling for words, feeling embarrassed, or worse - staying silent entirely.

The Safety Connection

Studies suggest offenders are less likely to pick confident, informed kids. When children know anatomically correct terms, it signals to potential predators that this child has been educated about body safety and likely has open communication with their parents.

More importantly, a child who can say "someone touched my penis" or "someone touched my vulva" provides specific information that can make a huge difference in the outcome of a criminal investigation. Vague references to "private parts" or nickname terms can create confusion and delay in getting children the help they need.

When children are afraid their comments will get them into trouble, they shut down communication. This reinforces a culture of secrets that gives sexual perpetrators cover.

Building Foundation for Lifelong Health Communication

Using anatomically correct terms with children lays a foundation for the terms you'll need to discuss when you begin the conversation about sex. As children grow older, you'll need to discuss puberty, menstruation, erections, and sexual health. If you've already normalized anatomical language, these conversations become extensions of existing communication patterns rather than awkward, shame-filled encounters.

Normalizing the use of anatomically correct words and eliminating any sense of embarrassment around them lays the foundation for honest, open conversations with your children about their bodies and sexuality.

At Blueberry Therapy, I see the difference this makes. Young people who were raised with anatomically correct language are more likely to:

• Seek medical care when they have concerns

• Accurately describe symptoms to healthcare providers

• Ask questions about their developing bodies

• Practice better preventive health behaviors

• Communicate effectively with future partners about sexual health

  
  

How to Start: Making Anatomical Language Normal

Start Early and Stay Consistent You can start using the proper words for their privates before your kids are even verbal! Use bath time or diaper changes as teaching opportunities by naming the parts you are washing or wiping.

Treat All Body Parts Equally Treat discussions about genital and anal anatomy as you would any other part of the body. This helps children understand that these parts are not taboo or shameful.

Create a Safe Environment Foster an environment where children feel comfortable discussing their bodies. Encourage them to ask questions and express any concerns they may have.

Use Natural Teaching Moments When reading books about bodies, during bath time, or when they ask questions, use these opportunities to reinforce correct terminology naturally.

The Medical Imperative

When healthcare providers use correct anatomical terms, it ensures that everyone involved understands exactly what is being discussed. This precision can be life-changing - or even life-saving.

I've seen too many cases where delayed diagnosis occurred because a child couldn't accurately communicate their symptoms. Urinary tract infections, yeast infections, constipation affecting pelvic health, and other conditions can all be missed or misunderstood when children lack the vocabulary to describe what's happening in their bodies.

Addressing Common Concerns

"But it's not age-appropriate!" Teaching children anatomically correct terms, age-appropriately, promotes positive body image, self confidence and parent-child communication. Age-appropriate doesn't mean avoiding correct terms - it means using them naturally and without unnecessary detail.

"Other people will judge us" A Gallup poll shows that 67 percent of parents use actual names to refer to male and female body parts. You're not alone in this approach, and the benefits far outweigh any temporary embarrassment.

"It feels awkward" That awkwardness is learned, not natural. If you don't give any special weight to those words, your kids won't either. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes.

The Blueberry Therapy Approach

At Blueberry Therapy, we see the power of proper anatomical education every day. Whether we're working with a 3-year-old learning to use the potty, a teenager dealing with period pain, or a young adult addressing pelvic health concerns, clear communication is the foundation of effective care.

We've built our practice around the principle that no body part should be shrouded in mystery or shame. When families come to us, they find healthcare providers who use anatomically correct language as naturally as discussing any other aspect of health.

This is exactly what we explore on The Hole Shebang podcast - breaking down the barriers and taboos that prevent people from getting the health care they need. Our upcoming Pleasure Principle Conference (May 8, 2026) brings together healthcare providers who share this commitment to clear, shame-free communication about bodies and health.

The Time Is Now

Say Vagina Month isn't just about saying a word - it's about fundamentally changing how we approach body education and health communication with our children. Every time we choose euphemisms over anatomical terms, we reinforce the idea that some parts of our bodies are too shameful to discuss clearly.

Our children deserve better. They deserve to grow up knowing that their entire body - including their genitals - are nothing to be ashamed of. They deserve the language they need to communicate about their health, to recognize inappropriate behavior, and to advocate for themselves throughout their lives.

The research is clear, the health implications are serious, and the solution is surprisingly simple: use the right words from the very beginning.

Take the Challenge

This month, commit to using anatomically correct terms with your children. Start where you're comfortable - during bath time, when reading books about bodies, or when natural questions arise. Notice how quickly it becomes normal for both you and your children.

Because the truth is, the only awkward conversation is the one we're not having.

Kristen Parise is a Registered Physiotherapist and owner of Blueberry Therapy Pelvic Health and Pediatrics in Hamilton, Ontario. She specializes in pelvic health and has been advocating for clear, shame-free body education for over 25 years. Learn more about her work at blueberrytherapy.ca and listen to The Hole Shebang podcast on iTunes and Spotify.